Manage your expectations BEFORE mediation begins - both of you will need to listen carefully, speak thoughtfully, and participate with an openness to compromise.

Interview mediators to find someone who is really a good fit for you - don't rush yourself or allow someone else to rush you.

Once you decide on a mediator, take your time in creating an agenda for the mediation process so you are both fully prepared. List all of the areas, issues, and items you want to address.

Approach your mediation appointments thoughtfully. Success often lies in the simple things like dressing comfortably, breathing deeply, pausing to think before each communication, making eye contact, speaking in a normal tone of voice, making notes to help you maintain concentration, and taking breaks to make sure you stay calm and focused on your agenda.

Avoiding Fireworks

Select a mediator you trust. Prepare for the process at each step. Do your own homework. Listen carefully and speak thoughtfully.

Finding Solutions

Remember why you chose mediation. You want to find your own solutions, not have someone else's imposed on you. Stay focused on this reality and you will take the high road when it's really important.